Have you ever asked, “Why can’t she understand my madness regarding finances? Why can’t he see my passion in what I see for our future? Why aren’t they on board?” The reason spouses aren’t on board is because you have not talked about your WHY. Why are you going to implement the plan? Why are you going to eliminate debt? Why are you going to build an emergency fund? Why are you going to invest? These are critical in order to get your spouse/significant other on board.
Another potential reason they are not on board is because you are doing it alone. Let me paint a picture: you more than likely read some material or listened to a podcast and thought, “this is incredible, I need to tell my husband/wife that we are going to implement this plan.” You are super excited about this and are educated, but your spouse isn’t. Tell me: how can they be excited about it when they don’t know the reason? Answer-they can’t. You made the decision, not “us.” They may want to get the education you sought out and get informed. Plus, they probably have a ton of other things on their plate and THIS particular thing you brought up out of the blue was not on their radar.
I would get super excited about paying off something early. For example, she still had student loan debt (not an exorbitant amount) that wasn’t paid off even though she had money in savings. I told her, “just pay it off-you have the money in the bank.” Fast forward a year later to after the honeymoon. The wedding rings/bands (yes I financed her rings-I’ve already told you that I have made many mistakes). Her security gland would spasm, and she freaked out. Eventually, I would cool down and let it go, until the next incident. Fast forward 4 years – I wanted to pay off something early – the vehicle. At this point, she was on board (finally!). The reason she jumped on board was 1) she read the materials I read, 2) I explained that having the car payment with our lifestyle would not work out and 3) we wanted to have our child grow up in a debt free home. All of those reasons were our WHY which she agreed.
Couples that are not on the same page financially have a difficult time. They have money fights constantly. Shoot, we have had plenty of money disagreements. One spends too much, they are hiding information from the other (what we call financial infidelity), or they just don’t care (which can be infuriating). For one person to carry the burden of balancing the checkbook, budgeting and ensuring that they stay within budget, while keeping food on the table and clothes on their backs can be overwhelming!!
You cannot force them to bend to your will – that’s extortion. You are a team. Work together. Find out what your strengths are and utilize those strengths to build the other up. Get on the same page. Get on board!
Madsen Financial Coaching 